Strike two

Humiliation. Unparalleled helplessness. That was what I felt last night.

It was a wushu night. The warm-ups were exhausting. The stretching was painful. The last part was unbelievably wearisome, even more than any of our other practices had been. My body was getting used to all the hard work again, after I missed the practices last week. I managed to get through the entire session, and was even smiling at the end of class, happy in my accomplishment. Assembly time came. We all lined up facing the trainers as they gave out the usual reminders and announcements before dismissing us. I felt a little lightheaded at first. My breathing quickened. My vision slowly blurred. I had to exert a lot of effort just to remain standing. I started to wish they'd hurry up and let us go. I swayed, and suddenly all I could see was....nothing. I was conscious and my eyes were open, but all I saw was black. As the last of my strength gave out, I collapsed to the ground. Some of the trainers rushed toward me and lifted me up to a nearby window. Opening it up, they told me to breathe. I was having a really hard time. All I wanted was to sit. They asked me questions; it was terribly hard to answer. I got a word or two out, and even as they supported me, I could no longer support myself. I dropped to the floor. They gave me a little water. It did nothing to make me feel better. I still couldn't see. I knew I needed sugar. As they called a doctor (I think), the elderly man from our wushu class came to help. Was he a doctor? I didn't know. At that time, I really didn't care. They gave me some mint candy, and propped my feet up on a chair. I felt my vision returning after a few minutes. The dizziness was dissipating. My blood pressure was normalizing. I was ok. I wanted to cry. Why did it always happen to me? What is it that I lack? Why couldn't it have happened in private? At home? Did it have to happen in front of everyone in my wushu class? I held back the tears, though. I was going to have to work hard to increase my stamina. I had to stick it out.

A few years ago, five to be exact, the very same thing happened to me on my first day at the Fitness First gym. I had slept only four hours the night before and eaten nothing. Last night, however, was a different thing. I'd eaten a stick of bread two and a half hours beforehand and I'd slept the whole day. I'm never going to give up, though. This is only the first step to my improvement.

I want to thank all the trainers, the man in our wushu class (I still have yet to find out if he really is a doctor or I was just imagining things), and my wushu classmates who've been concerned enough to help me through that episode. Your help was much appreciated.